Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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