grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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