I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize