Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
