A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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