The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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