Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
