shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
