Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
