this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
