I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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