I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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