No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
