I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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