The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
