roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
