I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
