My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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