i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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