He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize