Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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