Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
