HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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