i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize