I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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