"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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