can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
