apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize