Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
