Just fell off a train. Bad.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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