So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
do nipples grow back?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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