I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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