You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
