It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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