he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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