If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
