belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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