I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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