Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
