you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
