loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
