uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
