girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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