i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
