She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
