I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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