You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize