She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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