so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
