I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
