Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
