Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just want nice things and good sex
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
