Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize