Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
