It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
