part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
