:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
