My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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