I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
