My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How external is "for external use only"?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
