VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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