i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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