is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
