I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
