wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
