i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
