turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it because I queefed?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
