I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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