you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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