ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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