So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
