you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
