: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
this boner is exhausting
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
